Beard Wrangler Mini Crate

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59.99
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          It's Just A Beard...

          There's no denying the beard has become the top face accessory of the twenty-first century. Beards currently sit atop the mythos of masculinity right next to Zeus and Chuck Norris, both of which are only there because of their beards. 

          But with this widespread reverence for rugged-chic has come a good deal of bad science about the benefits of beard growth. We're here to temper expectations and set the record straight: 

          Things Beards Will Not Do:

          • Make you utterly irresistible
          • Qualify you as an expert on politics, the economy, philosophy, etc...
          • Fell trees with a single stare
          • Legally serve as a motorcycle license
          Things Beards Will Do:

          • Look good sometimes
          • Become dry and itchy
          • Smell, not necessarily good
          • Store crumbs for 'future face-follicle foraging'
          • Wash under waterfalls photogenically
          Clean, Sheen, Facial Hygiene

          Beards are natural; the most natural conclusion of the male condition. But some beards in their natural state look like a tangled monstrosity that could've been pulled out of a shower drain or coughed up by the neighborhood stray. 

          Our Beard Wrangler Crate rears even the most unyielding beards into their most presentable, pro-scentable form whilst still preserving the beard's rebellious strength and spirit. 

          We've included a shave towel which works for its exact opposite-stated purpose, and a boar-bristled brush that's excels in hair care because it is hair. Plus all the necessary tools to wrangle it all in including a beard bib, comb and scissors.

          The beard doesn't make the man, but it is a literal extension of the man. Give some polish and poise to the furriest of face friends with the Beard Wrangler Mini Crate.